As I’ve been feverishly keeping from all of you, in my daylight hours I earn clams as a recruiter. Yes, really! I’m the one who has been calling you and leaving you pesky voicemails trying to convince you to quit your job.
While it doesn’t have the noblest reputation, recruitment does occasionally give me the chance to better people’s lives slightly, and helps keep WIP’s resident Bachelor Duncan in naan bread. It also allows me to trawl the internet for jobs I can poach from other recruiters, like some kind of employment bounty hunter. This is rarely very exciting. With the exception of moments like these, when you discover that your childhood dream job is actually a job.
As someone who works in the jobhunting industry, let me deconstruct this job advert for those less inclined to understand it.
There are many good reasons to remember the 80s movie Big fondly, one of the big ones being Tom Hanks’ job for a toy company. When you were a kid, the most baffling thing about this movie wasn’t that Tom Hanks was turned into a thirty year old man overnight via the magic of a terrifying arcade game: but that he got paid to play with toys.
You loved Big when you were a kid because it represented everything you swore you would do when you were an adult. You resent it as an adult because it’s a depressing reminder of the resources you waste every day by NOT playing with a skyscraper Transformer. When Big is on TV, you watch it with an intial surge of joy, but are quickly reminded that you squandered your youth, and you are squandering your life by not having bunk beds or a decoder ring or a cool girlfriend who appreciates you for the 12 year old boy you really are.
But it’s not too late! All you have to do, seemingly, is acquire a rudimentary knowledge of child safety laws and then WHAM BAM you get to live Tom Hanks’ Big life forever!
Posted by Caroline O'Donoghue
Caroline is the editor of Work in Prowess. She is a recovering smoker, a relentless paddy and the author of all of those pesky emails you've been receiving. Find her on twitter @Czaroline .